Mike Huckabee obviously gets Chuck Norris.
In Ron Paul's corner we have Kane.
Mccain could go with Stallone or Schwarzenegger (personally I would go with Stallone).
Mitt Romney has Donny and Marie Osmond in his corner. I think we can bend the rules for this.
Barack can have Nas... I guess. Kareem Abdul Jabbar, Samual L. Jackson, or Charles Barkley might do a better job.
Clinton has Fiddy Cent in her corner.
Who wins?
I did some research to give some of the important qualities of the fighters.
ReplyDeleteChuck Norris: knows Brazilian jiu-jitsu, trained with Bruce Lee, has a long list of ascribed hardcore qualities from the internet.
Kane: Related to Undertaker---can probably channel the dead, psychologically unstable, has teaching experience, can utilize special wrestling moves.
Stallone: extensive combat experience, can box, has human growth hormone at his disposal, strong against Russian combatants after training.
Donny/Marie: Donnie has situs inversus (organs are on the opposite side of where they are normally), could call on a large Christian following?
Nas: FOX news combat experience, Jay-Z combat experience, can play trumpet.
Fiddy Cent: Bullet resistant, can box, has record company employees---easily utilized as an army.
haha word... I would easily replace Nas with Matt Damon (as Jason Bourne). If Jason Bourne fought as Obama's representative, no one would have a chance, everyone would die before they knew that Bourne was even there.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure Donny and Marie Osmond are Mormons and thats why they support Romney. So scratch the large Christian following. It would be funny to watch them get pummeled by Chuck Norris.
ReplyDeleteJason Bourne is a BAMF, but I'm talking WCW style rumble. He would get crushed under the might of Kane.
I would say the fight would reduce to Kane, Chuck Norris, and Stallone real quick. Chuck Norris would probably win that fight.
still I disagree... did you see jason bourne's hand to hand combat in the Bourne Ultimatum? he was trained as an expert in every style of combat. Jason Bourne is the ultimate campaign supporter.
ReplyDeleteI dont know if you know this, but underneith Chuck Norris's beard is not a chin...just another fist....
ReplyDeleteDonny and Marie Osmond are indeed Mormons, according to Wikipedia. No worries, though, that smiley-faced nut probably isn't going anywhere according to the latest primary news. That Huck-Chuck ad is hilarious.
ReplyDelete