I've found the answer!

I've done a lot of research on world religions in an effort to find out who indeed is the one true God, if one exists. This is something that I think we all struggle with in life, because indeed you cannot see any of the Gods that have been created by most religions and must base your belief on faith. This leap is what is required to be a blind follower of the prevailing myths, but I think I've got it figured out now.
All my research came to a head last night when I discovered the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the church of the one true God almighty, the benevolent, beneficent, merciful yet wrathful, invisible yet prevalent, made everything yet was somehow not made himself... the Flying Spaghetti Monster! Just look at this chart that comes straight from adherents to the religion, which proves that global warming is indeed not caused by incremental climate change due to a variety of complex scientific factors but instead by decreasing numbers of pirates (FSMs favorite type of person).

Come on guys, this is the only true way. All other ways than the Pastafarian way are morally bankrupt and will get you nothing but eternal damnation in the saucy depths of hell. Have a good day, and for His sake and your own, make the tastier choice.

Eternally serving the one true God almighty, the benevolent, beneficent, merciful yet wrathful, invisible yet prevalent, made everything yet was somehow not made himself...
FSM,
Cory